Children and burgers

My mom told me. One of her friend had to absent himself, leaving behind two children, the eldest was five. She put a pan with meatballs on the stove to come and warm up immediately. Under the table, put a pot Teach children that it is under the table in the kitchen and left. The kids played, then wanted to eat, got on the stove, found and ate cakes. Children somehow put a pan under the table.

When they itch is more, they crawled under the table and, without hesitation, pulled out the first thing that they got - that same pan. As luck and a pan, and a pot of green and were almost the same size. The children did not see the difference and make their case in a pan. Both were covered with crockery lid. Then one of them, without any intention of put it on the stove ...

Mother returned home, quickly turned on the stove and began to get out on the farm ...

Strange smell drifted through the apartment. She looked into the toilet - all right. Opened the window - the smell did not disappear, but rather increased. Opened the door with indignation, but the smell in the stairwell was not ... She was knocking neighbors. Soon the neighbors have gathered around her apartment ... When the source was found, everyone was crying ...

Frenchman

So. A year ago I was sitting in splendid isolation in the restaurant "Levant". This is in Playa de Aro (Spain), near Girona. Near Frontera (the border) of France, so there is always a lot of French.

I sit, think and then a man came up to me, quite impressive. Well I, as a woman alone, had nothing against.

- I think you're a Russian, he turned to me and pleasant accent, I realized that he was a Frenchman

- No, I answer, I am not Russian. Ukrainian.

- And here I was in Russia two times, and I know two words - confided to a stranger.

- So? - I'm interested.

- Oral sex - he said.

I laughed for the entire restaurant.

- And the second? And the second word? - Choking with laughter asking.

Drunk Bride

Summer, on the street ... the unbearable heat to the city fountain wedding procession arrives, drunk out of there daughter ... and very awkward trying to climb to the edge of the fountain.

After a few attempts at it it turns out ... After a few meters, it comes at the hem of her long dress ... and it comes off with a bang on ... Corsets Woman trying to close all ... heel breaks, slips ... and falls into the water ... Lift and drag her into the limo ... She laughs and scary ... wedding was a success!

Chicken

A friend told. But first we must explain: - Spanish language learning is quite easy, but the words should be good to learn, as If confuse a single letter - changes the whole meaning. But history itself:

- I said, had just arrived in Spain to his sister. About a week my sister asked to go to the store and buy a whole chicken for dinner.'s Damn, I think I'm in that time and a half words learned. Well, all the time to be afraid to open your mouth is not the answer.

And only have to say: - me una polla entera por favor. (less una Polya entera, then favorite).

It seems simple. Went. I go to the supermarket, in the meat department of a small queue. Contact the seller: - IU University poyyo, then favor.Entera.

Wild laughter Spaniards did not leave any doubt that I blurted out something stupid. And so it was. Changing just one letter in the word pollo I said the following: - "I am a member, please. A whole. "

As we speculated on a narrower

I met the New Year with friends in the village. One evening we impatient with the girls tell fortunes for Mr Right. Ask us for a grandmother that lived on the outskirts of the village in the old crooked house. Well, in short, everything as it should be, - lit candles, dim the lights in the room, tuned to divination. And on the street at that time, near the home Babkin local village boys were drinking vodka and loud bellow. Suddenly something suspicious, they stopped. One of them - a drunken idiot, crept up to our window, lowered his pants and leaned his bare ass to the glass. At that moment we entered the room granny. Looking at the window, she was dumbfounded at first and then started its baptized:

"God - Father - Holy! Whose face is the same, and there in the window?!"

We girls were laughing till you drop ....

Avaricious pays twice!

The real story that happened to one of my friends.
2000 while primarily earned on trading meat. That's one of my friend Sasha middleman meat, meat and Zatara trunk goes home here of nowhere policeman brakes. Open the trunk. Sasha opened the trunk, and a cop's eyes lit up, right whistled by what they saw meat. And it must be said that there were 20 times as of December. Here are the traffic cops and say that we are here to prazdnichka take you a couple of pieces of meat.

Sasha comes home, he decided the meat from the trunk not to get, because tomorrow will still go to the market. Morning opens the trunk and sees a cop rod in the trunk, he took the baton, turned, and from there in 2800 fell to Rs. In general all the "leftist" traffic cops have lost over 5 kg of meat)))